Shane Mickey has made historic announcement this morning: He is taking a break from his rigorous schedule of climbing in an out of electric kilns, harassing the ladies of Mitchell County, and napping in his office to run for Governor of the State of North Carolina .
"Hell's fire, if Arnold can do it so can I" said Mickey
" I have thought about this for a long time and feel that I haven't been actualizing, or for that matter, sharing my tremendous god given talents adequately with the citizens of this great state. That has been a mistake on my part which I need to rectify immediately" said the visibly aging Mickey.
"So I will announce my candidacy for Governor and try to spend less time with my family. They are sick of me anyway. " lamented a seemingly tearful Mickey.
"Sitting at the Pizza Shop in rural Mitchell County, on very small bar stool, for over 4,000 hours has not only given me a severe case of hemorrhoids but also the needed time to construct my campaign. I have decided on a slogan", said the jubilant Mickey, "What do you think?"
"Pots for One and Pots for All"!
He has already picked out his theme song: "Oh Mickey you're so fine, your so fine you blow my mind, Oh Shane Mickey".
" I think it is a great song, I sing it to myself every day and it gives me the strength I need to get out in the world and change things, like elements, tires, my underwear, etc." said Mickey "You know what I mean!"
" I also have a beverage sponsor " Mickey's Big Mouth" which pretty much states my position on a range of issues".
Shane will need lots of money to mount his failed historic campaign so send checks of under $1,000 to his Paypal account, Shaneneedsyourlove@gamil.com
"We want to keep this a grass roots campaign for the little people" says Mickey. I refuse to sell out to special interest but I can be rented!"
Captain Cone Pack for Governor!
(Dennis Allen strategist)